My soul shrunk...

I shrank from the world when I was faced with an issue I didn't know how to deal with. I stayed silent and I suffered. When I read "when we shrink from the world, our souls shrink too," from Loeb I stopped. I thought about how many times I had stayed silent over an issue I felt I had something to say about. One issue in particular still affects me because I live with it every day.

I moved from a straight-laced small farming community, where everyone knew everyone, to a huge public city school in Phoenix my freshman year of high school. I also moved in with my mother and her girlfriend. Naturally, I was afraid of fitting in, but I was also timid about people finding out my mom and judging me because of her lifestyle. This fear sheltered me from becoming an active student in my high school. I did well in class and sports, but I purposely did not stand out. I was very careful about the people I let come to my house or let close to me for that matter. I stayed silent and I suffered. When I look back, I am ashamed. I was afraid to take a small stand for my own parents. I regret not taking risks or being unafraid of what people would think, but I knew prejudice and bigotry. I could see it on television when people fought about gay rights. I didn't know how to handle the unfairness.

I realized that if I didn't try to deal with people's reactions then I would never know how. That is why I firmly believe that "when we shrink from the world, our souls shrink too." I believe that when people do not give themselves the chance to stand up or to speak up, they form a habit. It becomes natural to not say anything. They never give their souls a chance to grow because they have become accustomed to hiding it. I became to accustomed to hiding my soul. It is hard breaking the habit of hiding; I still hesitate to let people in my life and to speak up for what I believe in. However, I am trying as it is evident in this blog post.

However cliche it is, life is short, too short to be afraid to let people in, too short not to speak up about what a person knows and what they are passionate about. Let the world in and watch the soul grow.